Christian Grey, Shawn Mendes And The Evolutionary Desire For The Dominant Male

Over the past five years, I couldn’t help but come to notice a fascinating trend. It seems to me that, in spite of the modern woman’s desire to be seen as confident, capable and assertive, there is an everlasting and ongoing desire for dominant men.

If you’ve paid attention to music showbiz in the past few weeks you will have undoubtedly heard of Shawn Mendes, the Canadian singer. While Shawn has many hits to his name, he recently teamed up with Camila Cabello to release the sizzling sensational hit Senorita, with it’s upbeat tune and exceptionally steamy video. Shortly after that, Shawn became a search engine hit with women craving to know more about him.

Shawn isn’t the first example, as Christian Grey became a worldwide desire when he first appeared on paper in the summer of 2011. Women all over the world sought out and read about the young, damaged 27-year-old sex-god-come-billionaire.. In fact, it was more Christian Grey’s controlling and dominant ways that got his fans excited, rather than his luxury cars and swanky homes in several cities.

So what gives? And why am I mentioning this?

I think it’s interesting to note that in this modern era, during the rise of feminist women, we call ourselves strong, capable and assertive and a stronger man still sends us weak at the knees. Many women feel that they have to choose between these desires, based on two damaging beliefs.

  1. A woman does not need a man to do anything for her, she can do it all herself.
  2. A woman who values herself should not desire to be submissive to a man. To do so is not feminist.

These views are extremely damaging.

Women need men, I’m sorry ladies, but it’s true. Even if not partners, we need them as friends. In a modern time when more women have male friends and vice versa, it seems that we need men for emotional rather than physical support. Not every woman has a plethora of technical or mechanical know-how to fix every problem, and not every woman knows a female mechanic who can help.

As for desires? Our biological nature tells us to seek a partner who can protect us and our offspring. We are biologically programmed that way, this is not something we can just switch off. Nice guys finish last because we don’t feel they can or will protect us. Again, that’s not our fault, that’s our biology at play.

Unfortunately, regardless of how far we have come as civilisation, regardless of what breakthroughs we make in science an technology. humans still have caveman brains. When we think about sex, we think about who is strong enough to protect us and our offspring. This is where men like Christian Grey and Shaun Mendes come in. The perception (even if not the reality) is that of a strong, confident, capable male, who knows what he wants, and takes what he wants, eventually. This is why Fifty Shades of Grey was a bestseller, because it appealed to our basic womanly instincts.

It’s fine to be a feminist woman and a submissive, really, it is. It’s also to be a strong, independent, feminist woman and desire a strong, independent male. I am and I do. It doesn’t make you regressive, it means you’ve made a choice, a choice for you.

And that, really, is what feminism is all about.

5 thoughts on “Christian Grey, Shawn Mendes And The Evolutionary Desire For The Dominant Male

Add yours

  1. Great article and I agree with a lot of what you had to say. The only part about this that I didn’t agree with is that “Nice guys finish last because we don’t feel they can or will protect us.”

    It is quite possible to be a “nice” guy, yet be dominant in every way possible. I think that is the misconception about being a “dominant”, people tend to confuse the difference between being a “bad boy” and truly being a dominant. Personally, I’m not a “bad boy”, but I’ve always been a dominant, strong and independent male. In fact, I’ve found the respect level is healthier when it isn’t driven by forcing your will upon another. Because over time, that respect level will wither and the bond will chafe. Not that I disagree with having rules, and subsequent punishments as necessary. It is the how and why that are most important.

    Like

    1. AC @ The Cracked Lens, I think you’ve got me a little bit confused. By the nice guy, I mean the *really* nice guy, the guy who isn’t confident in himself and believes the way to impress a woman is to lavish her with attention and gifts then gets upset when it doesn’t work out, not the case for a gentleman like yourself. You’re absolutely right, you can be a nice man and a Dominant, and the best ones usually are. Fantasy characters like Christian Grey are by no means a representation of an ideal Dominant, but they do understore the continued desire for a Dominant male. I think most submissive women with a brain wouldn’t want the kind of alpha male who goes around intimidating people, but a gentleman who can protect us absolutely makes us weak at the knees. I hope that clarifies?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It definitely does clarify things quite a bit. Thank you. Unfortunately, there are many out there that see it differently. Quite a few submissive women (or men) feel that they need the mean, domineering “bad boy” type. So much so, that when they find someone that isn’t that way, they perhaps feel… less loved. If that makes sense? But, like I said earlier, I really enjoyed this post. I agree fully that a woman can be both strong, and a feminist, yet also be submissive. In fact, I believe it takes a lot of strength to give over that control to begin with.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I absolutely agree with you. In my early years, I was a Domme switch. I had a few young men approach me and want me to demean them and humiliate them all day, every day. For an hour or so in a humiliation scene is one thing, but as part of everyday life can’t be healthy, for either party.
        I do have a note to write about the strength of vulnerability and the strength it takes to be vulnerable at some point soon. Sadly, a lot of people associate submission with fear. Fear is not consensual BDSM. Unless it’s an edge play scene, of course.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I absolutely agree with you. In my early years, I was a Domme switch. I had a few young men approach me and want me to demean them and humiliate them all day, every day. For an hour or so in a humiliation scene is one thing, but as part of everyday life can’t be healthy, for either party.
    I do have a note to write about the strength of vulnerability and the strength it takes to be vulnerable which I will write at some point soon. Sadly, a lot of people associate submission with fear. Fear is not consensual BDSM. Unless it’s an edge play scene, of course.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

therebelliousangel

Musings on life and a 24/7 D/s relationship

Their carissimi's journey

My journey as a submissive

Penny Berry

BDSM & DDLG Lifestyle Articles From an Adult Little

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

%d bloggers like this: