Rules! Rules! Rules!

I woke up this morning at 8am. Tall Person had just left for work and I was on my own. Having cleared my blearly eyes, I was able to get up and get motivated, I had a lot of things to do and not a lot of things motivating me. That was when I realised it, if this was going to happen, then reluctantly, yes, I really did need rules.

I looked down at myself and thought about the weight loss goals I want to achieve. There is the vacation in less than 3 weeks and dang it, I so didn’t have my holiday body. There was no way now, beached whale it is.

Oopsie.

I walked over to my dresser and picked out some clothes for today. I caught my reflection in the mirror and whibbled my wobble.

Damn you, wobble! Always so whibbly! Why do you whibble so much when I wobble you?!

I looked at the cellulite, the orange-peel skin, the acne and the dry hair. I needed to look after me more, way more, but I’m a housewife. What good is looking good if I don’t go anywhere?

I made a mental checklist of all of the things that lead to the whibble. Grief, maybe, probably a contributing factor right now. Stress, stress of PIP, stress of running a home, stress of dealing with an over-friendly, user of a nuisance neighbour. Yep.. stress. What else? Boredom? Not really. Loneliness? Maybe. Factor in some serious on-the-go eating., and no wonder I was whibbly.

Diets and regimes and plans sounds so great and sparkly, they do, but they don’t factor in the complexities of the human existence. I watched Dragon’s Den last night and an entrepreneur had developed some £5 per month app to help you lose weight using calorie intake and some formulation, and that’s great! But the truth is, when we’re stressed, exhausted and hungry, calorie counting and sugar intakes go out of the window, I’ve already had to throw away my Weetabix then tuck into a slice of fruity bara brith when I got home this morning because I didn’t get time for breakfast before my mother turned up twenty minutes ahead of schedule, which consequentially sent an otherwise calm Hugo absolutely batshit crazy. Believe me, I know all about stress!

The truth is, and I don’t care for how much you’ll nag me because I am my own worst enemy, I put myself last on the list. If the lounge needs cleaning, I clean it, if someone needs helping, I help them, if the dog needs feeding, I feed him. Time spend relaxing with my feet in a warm, lavender scented bowl of water is time I could be making my husband’s lunch. Time spent massaging in a deep conditioning hair masque is time I could be ironing his shirts. Yes, my husband could iron his own shirts, but he works 45 hours per week to earn the bulk of our income – he shouldn’t need to work when he comes home, too.

Even still, all of this would change with rules. If I knew he wanted me to exercise more, I would exercise more. If I knew he wanted me to be organised, I would be. If I knew he wanted me to have a nightly pamper hour, I would. The reason I don’t isn’t because I don’t think I deserve it, it simply comes down to me being selfless. I do deserve to relax, but do you realise how hard my husband works? He deserves a cooked dinner and a cup of tea when he comes home!

We are reviewing a lot of things. We are reviewing checklists and rules and dynamics and, it seems, pretty much everything right now. After my Dad’s death, things fell apart completely. Maybe now it’s time to pick it all up, dust it all off and see what we can do with all of the broken pieces.

4 thoughts on “Rules! Rules! Rules!

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  1. Elena, if you could see me over here, I was literally talking to my laptop screen saying, “Right?! I totally agree!!!” lol. So many of your feelings I completely relate to. I wobble too. I live in sweatpants and tank tops because I don’t go out anywhere worth getting dressed up for, so I completely 110% understand. That sentence you wrote about acknowledging that you DO deserve to relax is important. Perhaps there is a way for you to unwind with your husband when he gets home? A little tea time together! A few scones, a cuppa, and some snuggles is a great way to slip into Little Me bliss, eh? Sending you big hugs, my friend. You’re doing great! Xx

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  2. Tea and scones? The great British stereotype lives on, eh? Lol! Alright, I’ll yet you off with tea because we probably live off of a gert British cuppa! I’m going to try and create some resemblance of a schedule tonight so that I get my blogging and chores done in the day and get to relax in the evening, but we shall see! X

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  3. It’s really important that you take care of YOURSELF!!!! Talk to Tall Person about helping you set a schedule, a routine for self care. Daddy insist I do it on a regular basis. That to Him is more important than a clean house and dinner ready. Sitting down, relaxing, bubble baths are things I struggle with a bit, too. The guilt of being a housewife…. as housewives we put in way more than 45 hours a week. Truth!!! I’m a service sub and want things to be perfect for Daddy, but perfect sometimes is being happy, relaxed, feeling good about myself. Last part of my lecture… sorry, I’m big today…. is looking good on a daily basis is important for you… and I’m very sure it makes a difference to your husband. ♥ YOU ARE WORTH TAKING CARE OF!!!! One last thing… you’re pretty no matter what size you wear or how wobbly things are.

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  4. Succulent Savage thankyou. I spoke to my Tall Person and he agrees with you. I tried taking a stand ans arguing that he was meant to take my side and he refused lol. I did find today after dog walking I did 2 hours on my blogs and then I did some cleaning. Maybe in future I need to make it 9.30-10 30 dog walk, 11-1 blogs 2-4 cleaning and 4.30-6.30 on me. There must be a way.

    Thankyou for your kind words, I’ve just picked up my phone and noticed you’ve been busy lol x

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