So it begins, that all too familiar feeling that playtime is only days away. I’m counting them down slowly, one, two, three… almost as rhythmically as the spankings that he gives me.
The beauty of being a minimalist now is that there is very little housework to do to be ready. A few things to list on Ebay, a groceries shop to organise, a few clothes to launder and a few pieces of documentation to write to be ready for court on Monday. Even though I have the stress of court, I know that I will have my good Sir right next to me, and I know that with him, I will be ready.
Last night, the feeling coursed down my spine. The calm, the still, the quiet – the peace that comes from being submissive. The gentle beauty and effortless grace within.
I knelt in our bedroom for a while this morning and allowed myself to be at peace. Palms up, spine straight. I allowed myself to be present and to feel. It mattered not what I was, where I was or who I was. All that mattered, was that I was. I was stressed, and I had a lot to do, but this five minutes of calm and recognising my submission to him would give me boundless strength for the day ahead.
In my mind, I could hear the dark rumble of Depeche Mode’s In Your Room. Ahh yes, deeper and deeper into submission I fell, I was his, I am his.
..”your favourite conciousness, your favourite slave.”
There is something about being submissive that only a submissive can or will ever understand. For once in my normally erratic and stressful life, my breathing slows and calms to such a point that normally anxious me would jab me harshly to remind me to breathe. There is no stress or worry, for no stress or worry is allowed for me to take care of. Not here, not in this space.
Submission is so much more than spanking and sex. Even though it is more than 72 hours until we play, he has me already completely at his mercy . He doesn’t even need to set the trap, I’ve already fallen in.