The Aftermath (Self-Aftercare Plus Womaniser Starlet Rechargable Vibrator Review)

Good evening lovelies,

I’m back while my good Sir watches that silly game that men (and some women) are into, you know that one that involves ridiculous pay packets, a bag of wind and two nets at either end of a big patch of grass? That one 😉

Today has been pretty strange for me, not least because we did play last night, but moreover, almost because we didn’t. I mean, we made the beast with two backs, sure, and that’s great, but there was no play. There was no whips and chains and bondage and being helpless and all the scrummy things that he sort of promised on Thursday. We were stuffed full of curry and tired after a long week, I fell asleep on Wolfie, and he had to abandon me at one point for the toilet. The later it got, the more it became apparent that playtime wasn’t going on.

For that part, it was easy enough for us to agree a solution to our problem this morning. We needed to be more spontaneous. Not maybe, we had to be. We schedule Fridays and time and time again they fall short. On Thursday, we were both in the mood, the pheremones were almost heady in the room and you know what we did? We ignored it. We tamped it down, because of “Kinky Fuckery Friday”.

Enough.

It was me who suggested we got more spontaneous. I grabbed the bull by the horns and I handled it. I like control of my life but I have to learn when and how I can have it, and when I can’t. What I can have to give me control, and what I can’t. New dishwasher to get the dishes done in good time? Sure. Sex on a schedule? Not so much.

Today was hard for me because Wolfie is working this weekend. Worst still, he is on a late shift. Even worse again, the weather in the UK is horrendous. It’s windy, it’s rainy, we’ve got things blowing over and I’m pretty sure we had some hail here earlier, too. It’s the time of year when finally, I can fall into some good old Danish hygge.

Unfortunately, while hygge may help stave off the winter blues, it doesn’t do so well for subdrop, and not least when you’re on your own. For that, I had to fall into some good old-fashioned aftercare, but what can you do when you’re home alone?

It’s important to understand that it’s not only submissives who experience drop, Dominants can and do experience “Domdrop”, too. The pointers below are from a submissive perspective, but they can be just as applicable for a Dominant’s wellbeing.

Your first step is to listen to yourself? What do you want? What do you need? Whatever you want and need, it’s okay. Can you reach out to your partner? Can you speak to your partner? Can you get reassurance from them?

Secondly, take care of yourself. Do you need More sleep? Get some rest. Do you need a shower? Have yourself a long, hot shower. Are you hungry? What would you like to eat?

The hardest part of self-aftercare comes in making it so. If you’re alone, you have nobody but you to look after you. Set up an aftercare kit if possible so that you have all of the tools to hand if you need them. Maybe you have a favourite snuggly blanket? A favourite drink or snack? Allow yourself whatever you need to feel better right now, the diet can wait until tomorrow.

Is there a way you could distract yourself? Perhaps by going for a walk or pursuing a hobby? Is there something you could do (or have to do)? Sometimes a distraction can help. Don’t force yourself to be happy, you’re emotions are a little raw right now. Remember, that’s okay.

Do you have any kinky or kink-aware friends? On days like today, I don’t know where I would be without Bill. Even though we’ve never been able to play together, Daddy knows him and he knows he cares about me, so I don’t feel any shame in talking to Bill about my feelings. Having kink-friendly friends can go a long way in supporting you when you are combatting sub (or Dom) drop on your own.

Finally, allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel. Draw, write, cry, listen to music and allow yourself to feel what needs to be felt. You’re missing your partner right now after an intense and connected time, you need to release those feelings that not many other people understand. Remember though, stay safe. No matter how intense your feelings are, your feelings are only temporary. This too shall pass.

For me, crying, napping and masturbating were needed, and not necessarily in that order. I missed my Wolfie, but part of that missing him was something very, very carnal.

The Womanizer “Starlet” Rechargeable Clitoral Vibrator

I ordered this little bundle of fun sort of as a treat for myself. I have a few toys now, but I wanted something different for when needs must and my husband is at work. The bodywand was my firm favourite for a while, but then it became the Dr Joel Throbbing Powerful Flickering Tongue Vibrator and for a long while, I haven’t looked back.

The problem with the tongue vibrator is that it eats batteries. Make no mistake, something that is going to deliver such intense vibrations is going to need something very important – power! At 3 x AA batteries lasting on average about 3-4.. ahem… “goes”, it’s not particularly economical to run. For that reason, I favoured something that wouldn’t depend on an endless supply of Duracell batteries to satisfy my womanly needs.

The first thing I noticed about about the Starlet is the plastic packaging. It comes in a rigid plastic box (unmarked and therefore recyclable), the inner plastic tray reads “your new comer” and so I decided not to chance it, heaven forbid it sat discracefully on top of the hard plastics recycling for the next week. That’s one piece of otherwise avoidable plastic going in the bin for landfill.

The second noteable thing is the size. It fits so perfectly in the palm of my hand that it almost feels perverse – nobody should be able to hold that much power in one hand, not even me!

On the inside of the toy is a little rubber cap. Beneath that is a micro USB socket. When the toy is charging, the red LED behind the power button flashes red. When it’s fully charged, it’s a solid red. I shall shamefully confess to having my new BOB charging from a USB cable attached to my swanky new laptop while I worked yesterday. Fortunately, it didn’t try and add any funky new software to my device.

This toy is not like a convenional vibrator as the toy in a sense doesn’t make any contact with your sensitive bits. Instead, the soft silicone cone vibrates on your love button and creates a gentle sucking motion, providing what can best be described as a cheeky blowie for women. Once I’d got over the novelty factor of something very intense and new, it was time for some product testing.

The toy has 4 settings and, like a trooper, I tested them all. The first might as well not have been there. It was unnoticeable at best and frustrating at worst. If my Dr Joel had ever got chance to meet with some really poor quality batteries, I imagined it’s a bit what it would feel like.

The second setting was definitely more noticeable than the first, but still not enough to really hold my attention. I was aware of it, but I wasn’t focused on it. I could ignore it if I wanted to.

The third definitely made it harder for me to focus. Not quite enough, but definitely enough to cause some serious sexual delirium. Again though, it still fell short of it’s ultimate goal, instead simply holding me on the precipice of my release.

The fourth, the last and the fastest setting, was what shamefully did the trick. It definitely weighs up on par with some of the toys with stronger vibrations, and the sort of thing that does the trick for me.

My only criticism for this toy (aside the surplus plastic packaging) is the noise. It can distract a woman from her objectives and would definitely give the game away if one was trying to be discreet. It definitely provided me with something intense and satisfying and helped to cure that not quite sated sexual appetite, but it’s probably best avoided if you happen to have thin walls.

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