My View On.. A Good Girl's Guide To Kinky Sex

Disclaimer: Some no-holds-barred facts in this post. Look away if you don’t want to read!

Hello Lovelies,

I’m back having watched another episode of a TV series with my betrothed. I’m not going to say it was the best series I’ve ever seen, because it wasn’t, but it was certainly better than some.

Last night, Wolfie and I settled down to watch Channel 5’s A Good Girl’s Guide To Kinky Sex. I joked with Wolfie that I wasn’t sure which side I was on, the “good girl” or the “kinky”. If this show was anything to go by, then I am kinky. Very, very bloody kinky indeed.

Look, I don’t mean to sound judgemental, but the people on this show were a bit.. well.. prudent. You can’t step into a new and exciting sexual world if you’re closed off about it, sex stuff absolutely needs to be approached with an open mind.

Newsflash: I’m pretty shameless when it comes to talking about sex.

To me, there is a line between being utterly shameless and excessively prudent. Whilst I wouldn’t advocate leaving a suction dildo suckered to your shower wall (more on that later) or sharing news of your latest screw on Facebook, I certainly have no qualms about leaving a blindfold and cuffs out on my bedside table or running a BDSM blog. After all, what I do is up to me, and anyone who has an issue with it can jog on with their boring, miserable, vanilla lifestyle.

The show gives you a little bit of insight about each sexual activity, before which the couples are presented with a “kinky box”, containing a smattering of sex toys and a challenge card to complete. They’re then left to get freaky in their own bedrooms and then discuss how they found the overall experience on camera afterwards.

When we tuned in, the couples were just.. err.. opening up to anal play. Now, if you ask me, I have a love/hate relationship with anal play. If I’m n the mood for it, it can be really exciting and great, but if the plug is cold or I’m tense and stressed, it can be the most ungodly of experiences. I don’t love it enough to say I love it, and I don’t hate it enough to say that I hate it, but I definitely do know enough to say that I’m not the biggest fan of something closely resembling a lubed up Christmas tree in my rear.

After that, they moved on to foreplay and sex in other rooms besides the bedroom, The wheel spinner in that box suggested acts like sticking his nose in her vagina which definitely did raise an eyebrow. I mean.. if she suddenly explodes in an orgasmic mess and floods his nasal cavity, how do you explain it when you put down the cause of death as drowning?

I’m just being pedantic.

One of the things I found really interesting about the people on this show, again, is that they didn’t seem the most tactile bunch. When one woman dropped the suction cup dildo in the bathroom, she freaked out like it’d come to life and rapidly descended, hungry for her feet. Lady, I hate to break it to ya, but it’s just silicone. It doesn’t have any ill-conceived notions or any feelings. Nonetheless, shower sex rated highly with them, while not so much with me.

“Do you remember when we tried it, then we just gave up and resolved to really open conversations insttead?” I asked Wolfie.

It was an odd time, a special time. We tried it, as you do, and I do miss it. But I miss the showering together and being close and talking more than I miss losing my footing on a wet floor and narrowly snapping off my husband’s dick.

Anyway..

We also talked about the times we tried sex elsewhere. I mean, the lounge was kind of fun, but the lounge is also where the dog sleeps and it can be really off-putting to do the deed if you have two beady brown eyes staring at you. The highlight for me, which I was rather shameless in admitting, was always the carpet burn. The kitchen, however, was a hard limit for both of us. That’s where food gets made.

After that, they introduced us to the ‘dynamite’ sex position. Call me a skeptic, but it looked an awful lot like standard girl on top, but sat on the edge of the bed. Call me an even bigger skeptic, but how does she get any leverage when her legs are stuck out in front of her? If she’s heavier than he is, how is he going to lift her? And when they both reach the grand finale, if he lets go of her, she’s going to go backwards and crack her head open.

Another one of those looks-good-but-not-practical sex positions, I think.

We’re missionary people, through and through almost. Missionary is not boring if you incorporate binds.. and blindfolds.. and biting.. and..

I’m just saying.

Yeah, I know, I feel like it’s the right time for that cliché “I don’t make love, I fuck. Hard,” There, happy?

To conclude, the presenter suggested that couples watch pornography together. I nearly died in my seat. I’m not against watching porn, but my countless hours on SexandSubmission.com and PublicDisgrace.com were about to come back and haunt me. My husband thought I was a lovely, innocent woman at one time, Now what on earth would he think of me? He tried to reason with me, I refused. We’re not watching my porn together. Nuh uh, not happening.

If I’m going to be honest, I think shows like this really need to be seen more for what they are, than what they are trying to be. They’re an informative insight to the world of great sex that’s out there, but not really a know-how of what’s involved or why you might want to give it a go. When the presenter mentioned bondage, for example, she mentioned that it’s about giving up control. She did not mention why someone might want to give up control, like constantly being in charge at work. Opening people’s eyes to a world of pleasure is great, but they need the information be able to enjoy it properly and more importantly, to stay safe.

In my humble opinion, being thrown in at the deep end is not really the best way for anyone to explore any kind of sexual play. It takes discussion, reading, questions and answers to decide if you’re going to do something, or what you’re going to do. Try new things by all means, but discover a kinky world in at your own pace and in your own time.

2 thoughts on “My View On.. A Good Girl's Guide To Kinky Sex

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s