Yesterday, I sighted the Lemoncello dessert in the fridge. It’d been in there two days and I wasn’t going to sit by and see my labour of love go to waste.
Fuck it, he obviously doesn’t want it. I was decided.
It was a perfectly good, perfectly fine dessert, and it most definitely did not go to waste.
“Do you want some ice cream, love?” I asked after dinner. It was a perfectly simple question.”
“Well I was going to have my dessert but I noticed it’s already gone.”
I was aghast. It’s been two days!
I skulked off to the bedroom and closed the door. I was hurting and wounded by his words. Yep, fatty, you’ve gone and eaten it all again.
“I just worry about your health, love” he said softly when he did manage to unfurl me, I glared at him, unwavering. There was absolutely nothing that he could do or say right now to earn my forgiveness,
Forgive and move on, Elena.
“Okay, let’s just forget it and move on” I said sternly. It’d happened, we both played our part, all that we could do was move on.
“Okay, but..” he said softly, I raised my eyebrows at his defiance.
Bitch, did you just? I said move on..
“You know I worry, I know you worry about my teeth”
“Yes, I do” I said softly.
“I know you do, and I know which one.”
“I don’t want to lose you like I lost my father” I said painfully. Sepsis took his mother and my father, it’d even one tried to come for me.
We went through much of our diet. Steaming vegetables in the rice cooker was a great start we agreed, and the meals cooked in the appliances was sure a help. I’ve made a plan this afternoon to go through our kitchen and get rid of anything too tempting and tasty, The less temptation there is, the less likely that I can be tempted into some indulgent snacking.
“What about the air fryer idea?” I suggested, “I think we’d use that even more than a pressure cooker, to be honest, given we have the slow cooker.”
I was sticking to my guns on this one. Wolfie loves making roast potatoes in the oven, but he always drowns them in oil. If we were making changes, then we were making changes. He’d opened Pandora’s box. Pandora’s dieting box, that is.
“No more Bounty” I insisted, coconut, marshmallow and dark chocolate was not good for me. Tasty, but not healthy.
“Fine” he sighed.
“No more Tesco meal deals, either, or Haribo”. Oh yes, I was pulling out all of the stops. To be honest, I was oddly enjoying myself.
“Fine, dear” he growled.
“Or KFC or pizza” I grinned, now I was really pushing the boat out.
“Don’t push it!” he laughed.
Wolfie tried to soften my resolve by offering me one of the last two remaining lekuchen fingers.
“No thanks, you eat them” I said with a shrug. I am now, after all, on a diet.
“I’m only having one!” he insisted. Cool, well, I’m not having any.
I was a pain in your ass before, boy, but I’m about to make you eat your words now.
But I was admittedly hungry.
Eyeing what remained of the Christmas nibbles, I eyed the gluten-free meat-free maple bacon tortilla curls. Given they were a snack, they were surprisingly low in basically everything unhealthy, so a small handful woudn’t hurt me.
I sat on the bed, crunching casually on my would-be smokey bacon snack. Wolfie watched me and I didn’t bother to break eye contact. Even if they did have a texture not too dissimilar to chewing gravel, I was making all of the right choices for me.
Breakfast was a bizarre Dr Oz-approved combination of oil-free scrambled egg and 6 more tortilla curls. One of the things that Dr Oz has taught me, is that I can have anything I like in moderation, even a really tiny bit of the bad stuff.